


over and over again

by orphan_account



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Blood and Torture, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug, Panic Attacks, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:07:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26322394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He couldn’t quite focus on anything, breaths coming out quick and short, was he panicking? What was going on?
Relationships: Ash Lynx & Okumura Eiji, Ash Lynx/Okumura Eiji
Comments: 3
Kudos: 84





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> read the tagsssss

Eiji gasped as he woke up, his head whipped up, eyes scanning the room he was in. Was it a warehouse? He wasn’t sure. He couldn’t quite focus on anything, breaths coming out quick and short, was he panicking? What was going on? He tried to bring his hands to his face, feeling something drip past his eye, but they were stuck. He tugged again, the fabric was harsh against his wrists. Was it fabric? No, probably rope, he rationalized. Nevertheless, it hurt. The more aware he became, the more pain he realized he was in. 

“Ash?” He whimpered, tears starting to leak out of his eyes. He didn’t know where he was, he couldn’t see anyone else. True, his vision was still blurry, but there should have been something, someone. The floor was cold beneath him, everything was cold. He felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, crying out quietly and turning his head down to look. There was a large gash across his stomach, bleeding sluggishly. He whimpered again and lifted his head up to look around the room some more, he couldn’t look at the blood, he knew there was too much. Dripping down his stomach and coating his thighs, he couldn’t believe he didn’t feel it before. 

He sniffed, nose blocked as a result of the tears still falling down his face. He didn’t know what to do, the panic took over all of his senses. He held his breath as he heard footsteps behind him, he tried to turn his head but suddenly there were hands on either side of his face, keeping his gaze forward. 

“Not quite, Eiji.” A deep voice rasped out. The person laughed, before squeezing Eiji’s face. He got closer, Eiji could feel the person's breath on his face. “Your little Ash isn’t coming, Eiji, we made sure of that.” He whispered into Eiji’s ear. Eiji swore his heart stopped. What did that mean? Was Ash okay? He had to be okay. He survived through so much pain. Eiji squeezed his eyes shut and looked down. The person laughed again, that horrible laugh, and let go of his face. 

He was yanked backwards by the rope on his wrists, a soft fabric was tied around his head, covering his eyes. He was sobbing by now, he couldn’t handle it. Ash had to be okay, he didn’t know what he would do if he wasn’t. He didn’t even care that he couldn’t see what was going on anymore. He choked on a sob when something sharp ran across his arm. His coughing only made the pain in his stomach increase, and he was sure he was bleeding even more. The sharp object dug into his arm, he cried out in pain and jerked away, but a hand struck him across the face as he moved. The person growled something out, but Eiji couldn’t hear it. His ears were ringing, and spots danced across his already dark vision. He coughed again, and felt something metallic coat the inside of his mouth. 

“Oh c’mon, Eiji. You can’t deal with losing a little blood?” Eiji felt the man get closer. “I’m sure Ash dealt with much worse.” He whispered in Eiji’s ear. Eiji whimpered, and his body slumped forward. His arms strained against the rope holding him in place. His head was swimming, he felt nauseous, he could feel his heart beating through his ears. And he promptly passed out.


	2. i'm spilling out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi yeah its 6 am i slept 3 hours and i have school at 8. im also drinking apple cider out of a cat mug<3  
> everyone in this is super ooc but?? where do i care??? i do i really care it bothers me a lot. but this is the best i can do right now. not proofread for mistakes cause i cant bother to put my glasses on rn and i cant see for shit without them on

Ash learned not to cry when he was eight. The men didn’t like when he cried. Some didn’t care, he’s sure some got off on it honestly. But most didn’t like it. The  _ hands hands hands _ all over him all he could feel was  _ pain pain pain _ . The bruises and blood he was sure was all over him, no one liked bruises how would he cover them up-- 

When he met Eiji everything changed. Well.. Not everything. But so much changed. Suddenly he could  **care** for another person. Sure, he cared for Shorter, for Griffin, for Skipper, but it was different with Eiji. He somehow seemed so innocent, so perfect. Ash knew he loved Eiji too soon. He knew it was all too much, knew Eiji would get hurt, but he never thought it would happen like this. 

He knew there was too much blood, it was obvious. Eiji’s arms were tied to a pole behind him, he looked so pale. There was a deep gash on his stomach, bleeding profusely. Honestly, there were cuts all over him, he was covered in blood. His head was hanging down in front of him, and Ash couldn’t breathe. Eiji almost looked dead. Ash was completely frozen. He felt like he couldn’t do anything, the memories coming back of when the men  _ hurt him _ . He tilted his head back slightly, getting Shorter in his sight and sending him a desperate look. ‘Please, help him,’ he thought. ‘Please I can’t handle this. I love him so much it’s painful.’. 

Shorter jerked his head towards Eiji, signaling Ash to stand in front of him to catch him once he untied his arms. Ash knelt in front of Eiji, laying his hands on Eiji’s cheeks and resisting the urge to just pull him into a hug and never let him go. For the first time in years, tears spilled down his cheeks. And once he started he couldn’t stop. EIji’s body slumped towards him, Shorter finally getting the ropes untied, and Ash sank to the floor with Eiji in his arms. He moved his arms around Eiji’s torso, being careful not to disturb any of the wounds on his body. Ash knew they had to go get help, go to a hospital, but he couldn’t seem to move. Muffled sobs passed his lips as he buried his face into the unconscious man's shoulder. Ash jerked forward as Shorter laid a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at the purple-haired man, who nodded towards the car. 

“Hey, we have to get him to a hospital, Ash. He’s strong but he needs some help to get better, alright?” Shorter said softly. Ash glared at him slightly, not appreciating being treated like a child. He reluctantly nodded and accepted Shorter’s help getting Eiji to the car, laying him in the back seat gently. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ash brushed a hand through Eiji’s hair, he looked far too weak on the hospital bed, with all the little wires and tubes connected to him. God, he had seen Eiji in far too many hospitals since they met, he never seemed to get  _ out  _ of trouble honestly. Ash chuckled a little bit, wiping at his eyes to get the remainder of the tears away. His head whipped around when the door to the room opened, his eyes hardening into a glare, but it was just Shorter. 

“Hey, sorry.” Shorter held his arms up as an apology. “Doctor said he’ll be fine. Blood loss was worrying but they got all the bad injuries stitched up and bandaged, as you can see.” Ash nodded and returned to running his hand through Eiji’s hair. Shorter sat down in another chair. “I’ll go soon, I just want to make sure you’re good first?”

“I’m good.” Ash choked out, voice cracking. “I just hate seeing him hurt like this.” He sniffed and turned his head towards Shorter. “I- I never- I don’t think I’ve ever cared about someone this much. Worried this much about someone getting hurt like this I- I don’t know how to act, I think.” Shorter softened and leaned towards the bed, laying a hand on the side near Ash.

“It’s okay, man. I know it’s hard. But, you have a right to care about someone this much. Even if you think you don’t deserve it- which I know you’re thinking. I know you pretty well. You’ve gone through too much for a lifetime. You deserve to be happy.” Ash stared at him, eyes wide, mouth open, he didn’t know how to respond. Shorter sent a soft smile towards him as he stood up. “Too many emotions for today huh? I’ll get going now. Give me a call when he wakes up and tell me how he’s feeling yeah?” 

Ash gaped like a fish towards the door for a minute, still surprised. Ash turned back towards Eiji and slowly laid his head down on the bed next to his arm.

‘Maybe.. Maybe I can be happy.. Maybe I deserve some happiness..’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anyway!! i am sorry this took so fucking long im a dumbass and rewrote it like 2 times just to hate it- and ive been so busy w school and im failing english lMAO what the fuck is english anyway im in pain   
> this is still like rly bad and i dont like it but i would prefer to not rewrite it a 4th time so fajlfaj;f 
> 
> what happened in between that i just,,, couldnt write!!:   
> basically eiji got beat up really bad, nothing actually happened to ash the guy was just using that to break eiji more- ash was freaking out trying to find eiji when shorter was like!! ! yo bro i found he! ! and they rushed to him 
> 
> u can rly see how dumb my thought process is until i figure out what the fuck english is huh

**Author's Note:**

> dont worry i hate myself too. i wrote this with fuyunohanashi from given on loop for that extra Pain. hm what else uh- i kinda wrote this while i was really anxious so it may not be the best. i did go back and read it, for typos and stuff, but i probably missed some.   
> uhm.. i hope you enjoy the first part ;). im not sure when the next will be uploaded, im pretty busy with school and my wifi has been going out a lot so all my time when its on has to be spent on school sadly jklfjd;f


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